Riley “Suck my dick you bigots” Dennis


Okay. So usually I don’t really like defending Riley, but this one is driving me nuts I swear on me mum. After trawling through a lot of Riley’s videos, posting on Twitter a few times asking people making the claim to source the claim and all around investigating this thing a little. I’ve come up with sweet fuck all in regards to having some kind of evidence that Riley said what everyone seems to assume she said:

“If you don’t suck my dick you’re a bigot”

Or something to that kind of effect. So here’s an empty blog post where I will take on the challenge of explaining what Riley is actually saying for those of you who think she’s being unfair in regards to this topic. Please feel free to comment with video links or DM me video links and tell me what it is you believe she is saying, and I’ll tell you what it is she actually said. As a show of good faith, I’ll even kick start the show by giving a little example in the form of her “Are genital preferences transphobic” video.

Riley: I often get accused of homophobia, lesbophobia, or lesbian erasure by lesbians who believe that I’m trying to change their sexual orientation or identity. They say that my language sounds a lot like a dude who tried to turn them straight or like conversion therapy. Those responses are rooted in cissexism. This is because I’m not telling lesbians that they can’t be lesbians. If you’re a woman who only likes women, go ahead, identify as a lesbian!

But some women have penises. And if the fact that some lesbians might be attracted to those women offends you, it’s because you don’t think trans women are real women. That’s because these accusations of homophobia make it sound like I’m trying to convince lesbians to like men, but I’m not.
I’m trying to show that preferences for women with vaginas over women with penises might be partially informed by the influence of a cissexist society.
You do not have to like men.
You do not have to date men or have sex with men.
And if you think that’s what I’m arguing, you’re simultaneously strawmanning my argument and implying that trans women are men.

This is from the opening of her video, and what she is saying basically amounts to something similar as what disabled people have said about the way the world is designed too. Cissexism isn’t transphobia, they are not the same thing but they do have overlap. Cissexism is more about how the world is built for and around cis people’s existence and experience. Which, yeah, makes a lot of sense, catering to the lowest common denominator rather than to all the niches will always happen in a society as it develops.

However when societies get to certain levels they start to try and take into account the experiences and hardships of the niche minorities. As I mentioned with disabled people above, this often involves making some concessions to help make the world easier for those people to live in, ie ramps, disabled access, disabled toilets etc. A world without these or a company that argues against this would be labelled ableist and quite rightly so. Cissexism applies in a very similar way in that its about a world that is ignorant of the existence of trans people. Though less physical concessions are actually asked for, trans people don’t need no ramps, usually.

So lets look at a cissexist view of sexuality. I’d argue a cissexist view is one that tries to maintain the norm we have already while being ignorant of the existence of trans people. A transphobic view of sexuality would be that trans women are men and ergo its gay to fuck us if you’re also a man. All Riley did in this video was explain this and then went on to argue how your preferences might be informed by prejudice against trans women. Which I would also argue too, since sweeping blanket statements like “I’m not attracted to trans women” are most often based on a prejudice of trans people and that is textbook transphobia. Realistically speaking, you are most definitely attracted to a trans woman somewhere, since we don’t actually look all the same and you can’t see our genitals, gonads or chromosomes to really use the “but i dont like males” excuse.

In short, no Riley didn’t say the thing you think she did here. Yes she did say that your preferences and the way you speak about them are likely informed by prejudice. No she probably isn’t wrong about that. She also didn’t say you had to suck anyone’s dick.

Already had a submission of a video before I finished writing my example, so here’s another one. This time from Riley’s “Your dating preferences are discriminatory video”.

Riley: Would you date someone who’s trans?
Would you date someone who’s black?
Would you date someone who’s fat?
Would you date someone who’s disabled?
Now, honestly, I don’t know what your answer is to those questions, but I’ve met a surprising number of people who would say no to all (or at least some) of them. Their argument is that it’s just a preference – and that you can’t control who you’re attracted to.

Riley: Would you date a trans person? Honestly?

Think about it for a second.
Okay, got your answer?
Well, if you said no, I’m sorry, but that’s pretty discriminatory. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you’re a horrible person who hates trans people. There was probably a time in my life when I said I wouldn’t date a trans person. But since then, I’ve thought critically about it and changed my mind. I could sit here and show you photos of conventionally attractive trans people. There definitely are trans people who you would never know were trans unless they told you, because they “pass” for cis.

aaaand the rest of the video is just waffle about how preferences are created and what informs them. Its totally fine to have preferences, I don’t think Riley is arguing that it isn’t. She’s merely arguing that you should think critically about the answers to the questions she asked above. When you’re asked something like “would you date someone who is black” – sure, you might have a preference for white skin, but that isn’t to say that you might not find a black person attractive ever. Answering no in this regard isn’t based on the reality of all black people, you haven’t seen each and everyone of them to know if there’s a physical attraction nor have you hung out with them all to know if there’s an emotional attraction. It’s built upon a prejudice of black people and what you believe them to be and look like.

I think she has worded the questions badly, I personally would’ve made the questions about attraction specifically rather than whether or not you would date those people. But I still think her point kinda stands. If you say “I would never date a disabled person” it could be because you think that it might be a bit too much hassle, or that you have a preference for a specific kind of life – lets say you’re into extreme sports for example. Dating a disabled person would probably be difficult there, but again, this is just based upon a prejudice of disabled people that I have. Because I have pre-judged disabled people to not be interested in extreme sports. You probably did too and were nodding along. Shame we were both wrong huh?
ba8d34a0b70563fe57b1282d2f15ce38and this is the exact point Riley was trying to make, in a roundabout sort of way. She wasn’t saying that the only way to be un-prejudice is to fuck disabled people, or that you have to suck her dick or you’re a bigot. This is a massively uncharitable and unfair representation of her ideas, its beyond a strawman and is fallacious garbage. I like to discuss and debate the ideas Riley puts out as much as anyone, but if you’re not actually engaging with the actual ideas she puts out and are instead making shit up like “she said we have to rim her or else we’re transphobes” you’re not doing that. You’re just joining in a character assassination. Please don’t do that. What she actually said is that the claim that you would never date a disabled person or never have sex with one is likely based upon a prejudice of disabled people, rather than the reality of disabled people.

Again, So far I’ve seen absolutely nothing that would indicate Riley has said anything like:
4d90c61dbc9f6cc9753cd31b7fe9fcf4.png
In fact what she actually said was:

Riley: I’m not telling lesbians that they can’t be lesbians. If you’re a woman who only likes women, go ahead, identify as a lesbian!

But some women have penises. And if the fact that some lesbians might be attracted to those women offends you, it’s because you don’t think trans women are real women. That’s because these accusations of homophobia make it sound like I’m trying to convince lesbians to like men, but I’m not.

Which I can’t find fault with personally? She’s not saying that lesbians must like dick or else. She’s saying that yes, lesbians are attracted to women – some of whom may have dicks, and the only reason they would say they aren’t attracted to trans women as a blanket statement is because they’re transphobic. Which is absolutely true, because again, you can’t tell if someone has a dick just by looking at them. There are many women out there who have dicks but don’t look like they should and it would be incredibly stupid to think that lesbians can like… sniff out who does and doesn’t got a d with a high degree of accuracy. They can’t, and on numerous occasions I’ve proven this with line-ups of women and asked them to spot the tranny. Not once have they ever got it right, falling back on excuses like “but its different when you’re standing next to one in real life, you can just tell”. Give me a break.

Note. That paragraph above, I did not, at any point, say that any lesbian has to have sex with someone who has a dick. Just merely that they will definitely be attracted to a person who has a dick. Again, nobody has to fuck anyone they don’t want to fuck. 
There’s a really big strawman problem going on within the anti-sjw/skeptic/freethinker whateverthefuck communities. Especially when it comes to people like Riley. I don’t necessarily agree with everything she says and for example I think her video on brain sexes was wildly misinformed and misrepresented studies too. However, that doesn’t mean we should just not engage with her ideas properly, we should. To do that, we first need to properly understand them, rather than just strawman what she’s said hard. Hopefully this blog post goes someway towards correcting that issue.Any more? Hit me up.

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4 thoughts on “Riley “Suck my dick you bigots” Dennis

  1. ramendik says:

    Some of the problem there is (again) in definitions of “sex”. I was asked once if I date trans women; I answered I don’t date anyone because I’m married but if I wasn’t, I possibly would.

    Then someone tried to infer this means I’d want to have a dick inside me. An assumption that is both extremely rude AND illogical. There are even actual gay men, masculine male people attracted to masculine male people, who don’t like having dicks inside them ffs! It just does not work that way.

    Having said that, I do know of one valid reason for “won’t date trans people” and that’s when “dating” is seen primarily as a pathway to a relationship that would involve biological reproduction. If a biologically male person wants to become a biological father, said male person needs a cis woman or non-hormone non-surgical trans man as a partner. And the person might just not be attracted to masculine-presenting people, thus excluding the trans man.

    Caveat: there are female people who present generally feminine yet prefer masculine pronouns, known as “bokukko” in Japanese, and I personally know a few, but this is splitting hairs. Those who say “I don’t date trans people” usually don’t mean these people, who are at the very edge of “the umbrella” anyway. The “bokukko” trope is in fact a type of “cute girl”. (Some bokukko I know are lesbian but not all of them; one is in fact married to a man and the mother of his children).

    And this before we touch upon purely moral views, often religion-based. These are in themselves a valid personal choice protected by centuries of legal tradition of freedom of conscience; however, they generally come packaged with “no sex before marriage”. Stating that religion does not allow one to have sex with trans people, but going on to have sex with cis opposite-sex people *without being married to them* is usually hypocritical.

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  2. Willow says:

    Oh please. Riley’s not being strawmanned. She’s not actually asking anyone to ‘suck her dick’ but she is pressuring people to interact with genitals they aren’t comfortable with.

    Her video is called ‘Are genital preferences transphobic?’ and the whole thing is her just basically saying yes.

    In her video ‘Your dating preferences are discriminatory’ at 1.49 she says

    ‘Gay men often pride themselves on being disgusted by vaginas, and the same goes for lesbian women with penises. It’s difficult because some people have built their sexual identities on there repulsions. But I don’t think they’re innate at all. It you met someone who is extremely attractive had a great personality but didn’t have the genitals that you wanted, you might be surprised to find that isn’t a deal breaker.’

    She’s saying that gay men and women’s feelings on genitals are based on pride and not on innate sexual orientation. She’s subtly pressuring her audience to date people with genitals they aren’t comfortable with. Couple that with her earlier statement that not dating certain people is ‘discriminatory’ and the pressure isn’t so subtle.

    So please don’t tell me that Riley’s being strawmanned.

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  3. CantSayIHave says:

    Riley makes the argument that if you won’t date a woman because she has a dick, you don’t think she’s a real woman. This is twisting the reality – whether or not you think she’s a real woman, many people just don’t like dick, many people HAVE tried it but don’t prefer it. While I see the point that we may be prejudiced against generalia, this is not a rule, and the unwillingness to “date a trans” isn’t about the legitimacy of the person, it’s about sexual preferences

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