MRA and me

Over the weekend I got into a little skirmish with the TERFs of Twitter, of if you would prefer, a TERFwar. Whereas very little came out of it, one thing that did was me getting called an MRA, for something rather peculiar. This post is courtesy of a friend called Eve, who seems to think I’m a troll. So I wanted to flesh out exactly why she’s wrong for calling me an MRA.

I wrote a piece not too long ago about diversity quotas. In it I discussed how a forced diversity quota means you aren’t always getting the best person for the job. Amongst the examples used was one involved straight white males, and another example women in NZ parliament. Both examples proved the same point, that forcing diversity means that if all the best candidates are either men or women, then diversity quotas mean you lose out on the best workers.

I figured this was fairly straightforward, and it doesn’t advocate men’s rights or women’s rights. It’s just anti-diversity quotas. I honestly and truly believe that they aren’t good for businesses to have and instead a system where employers are blind to those facts should be used. My partner’s company does this, they blank out any information about the person so that if you make it to interview, you did it entirely on your answers & CV. Its a far better and more equal system than forced diversity quotas, for everyone involved.

However that didn’t stop Eve from insisting I’m just an MRA for having that thought. Despite it being totally bat shit. What surprises me the most is that if she actually took long enough to look through my blog she’d see find way better evidence to support her case. Here is literally my second post and it’s about men and men’s rights, in essence. I argued that it wasn’t fair to judge all men as rapist and it was dangerous to ignore the fact that men are raped, and can be raped by women too.

So I did advocate men’s rights at some point in my blog, but is that a bad thing? Heck no. Men’s rights are just as important as women’s rights if we’re trying to build a society of equality and justice. If you’re going to advocate for women’s rights, that’s great do it, but don’t shit on other people for advocating for men’s rights too. All rights are important, and I wholeheartedly support male rape victim’s rights to support and justice – the same way I wholeheartedly support female rape victim’s rights to support and justice.

My ability to advocate isn’t a limited resource, and it’s totally possible to advocate for both, they aren’t polar opposites by any means. And in my personal opinion? I think you’re an asshole if you refuse to advocate for people based on their gender and you are absolutely part of the problem, not the solution. Step-aside.




6 thoughts on “MRA and me

  1. darthtimon says:

    Mens rights are an issue yes, but liberal feminists (I don’t know whether you were talking with radical feminists before) tend to develop arguments and ideas which demonstrate how feminism helps men as well as women. The idea that all men should be considered rapists? As a man myself, I obviously take offence to this idea. Equally, there have been many occasions where the victim of sexual assault has been shut down, or made to feel responsible for what happened to her. There have been plenty of occasions (including just recently, the Brock Allen Turner case) where the punishment for rape might as well have been a slap on the wrist. Women face being labelled sluts if they dress for comfort in hot weather, and men do prey upon women in the streets, at clubs and elsewhere.

    There are certainly elements of some forms of feminism that I cannot agree with. There is plenty from the MRA and MGTOW camp I cannot agree with.

    Liked by 1 person

    • cursedeblogger says:

      I’m not really in the MRA or MGTOW camps. I’m just a person who advocates for men’s rights as well as women’s rights on Twitter and my blog. But even so, that was enough to denigrate me with the slur of MRA. It doesn’t really solve anyone’s problems, just fosters more distance between the two groups and their aims. It absolutely senseless. I think all people are capable of standing up for all sides of this argument at once. Rather than tunnel visioning them selves into one part of it and ignoring the bigger picture.

      The bigger picture being that we all live in society and need to work together if we want to make it better for all of us.

      Interested in the Turner case though. I’ll have a read. Thank you for the comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. darthtimon says:

    I tend to find that feminism can actually cover – either directly or indirectly – mens’ issues as well. A lot of our problems as men are rods for our own backs.

    The image of masculinity vs femininity – it’s a role defined for us as soon as we’re born, but what ‘is’ manliness? What does it mean to be feminine? I am a man who recently cried when my cat died – does this make me less of a man? According to certain modes of patriarchal thinking, yes.

    I’ve written about this, and I invite you to take a look:

    Liked by 1 person

    • cursedeblogger says:

      Will do! I love a good read and a good discussion. That’s how I write most of my posts. A lot of self-professed feminists really do have egalitarian values. And that s amazing. Its just the ones I spoke to online that didn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

      • darthtimon says:

        I think it depends on the type of feminist (and also on the subtype). I think the sort of feminist that tends to be pointed out online (often by the MRA/MGTOW crowd) is the extreme end of the scale, but most feminists – including several that I’ve spoken to – are in fact very much concerned with equality.

        Liked by 1 person

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